Ineptitude Rising
I break the law on a daily basis.
It's true. Now, before visions of a smug videogaming geek shoving innocent old ladies into oncoming traffic or stealing soup from poorly nourished orphans run rife throughout your mind, let me clarify that my expeditions to the wrong side of the law aren't nearly as drastic. You see, I drive around in my loosely concocted system of wheels, pulleys, liqourice strips and hyper-active hamsters (hereafter referred to as "car") without being in possession of a driver's license. Now, I do have a learner's license, meaning I can recognize fundamental signs and complex automotive equipment such as steering wheels, but a technicality within the law states that this particular piece of parchment only allows me to drive with a license-holder in the passenger seat. Since I don't know anybody that's available for a daily chaparone routine, it means I have to choose between staying at home or going to university. An easy choice...but people tell me that education is important.
As soon as you become 18 years of age, you're allowed to go and take the driver's license test - a pseudo-obstacle course that's taken under the supervision of a highly unenthusiastic human claiming to be an expert on matters related to driving. I hadn't been interested in said test until recently, when I finally obtained my "car". I suppose I could have gone using somebody else's vehicle, but I have certain reservations about piloting highly expensive machinery belonging to other people. As you can see, my act of driving without a license isn't totally without reason. I took driving lessons, I obey the rules of the road and I'm mindful about the dangers of high-speed travel. In addition...those pedestrians had it coming.
So, I phoned the licensing department today in order to make an appointment for this all-important test. The man on the other end seems courteous enough and even asks for and addresses me by my name. It's an obvious trick that creates the impression of giving a damn, often resorted to by seedy salesmen and overzealous fast food attendants.
"I'd like to make an appointment for a driver's license."
"The learner's test or the driver's test?"
"The driver's test."
"I'm sorry, but we're fully booked through the whole month of February."
"Okay...so could you schedule it for March then?"
"No."
"No?"
"You'll have to phone back later, I'm afraid."
"Why?"
"Because February is fully booked."
"Yes, but why can't you schedule it for March?"
"Because we're fully booked."
"In February."
"Yes."
"So..does you system only have a one-month calendar or something?"
[ Note the regrettable mistake I make at this point by assuming that the man is actually using a computer and not a greasy scrap of paper dug out of a refuse bag. ]
"No...it's just that February is fully booked and I can't give you an appointment then."
"Not even for next month?"
"No, I can't do that."
I could never get to the bottom of this mystery. In fact, I'm not even sure said mystery has a bottom...just an endless abyss of puzzling and frustrating ineptitude. Either this guy had no idea what he was doing or he wasn't given the correct tools to let him function in his job. Regardless, I now have to phone back frequently and hope that there's a competent entity on the other line, ready to help me into becoming an official law-abiding citizen.
Since this is a videogame blog, I should probably mention, you know, a videogame. Well, I'm really looking forward to Advent Rising, an upcoming sci-fi action game that's being published by Majesco. Admittedly, that's not a company known for their genre-defining masterpieces, though Bloodrayne sure came close! (that was sarcasm, folks) Don't let that deter you from checking this game out, as it looks to be not only a fantastic third-person action game but an epic piece of storytelling. Planned as a trilogy and written by esteemed author Orson Scott Card, the game incorporates sci-fi weaponry, high-powered vehicles, weird aliens, hand-to-hand combat and psychic powers into the latest and ridiculously beautiful build of the Unreal engine.
If you want to get the best idea of what it's like, have a gander at this spectacular trailer. Judging by it, it looks like the game will have plenty of epic boss encounters and at least one emotionally gripping groin-kicking scene. If you're observant you'll also notice the main character twitch defensively when there's an explosion nearby. Nice touch! The most intriguing part of the game, however, is the branching storyline that promises to be just as throughtful and dynamic as Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, with the only difference being that your actions in the first game will carry through all the way to the sequels, assuming that you'll even want to play them in the first place. The game launches in May on the Xbox and the PC - let's hope this series gets off to a good start.
It's true. Now, before visions of a smug videogaming geek shoving innocent old ladies into oncoming traffic or stealing soup from poorly nourished orphans run rife throughout your mind, let me clarify that my expeditions to the wrong side of the law aren't nearly as drastic. You see, I drive around in my loosely concocted system of wheels, pulleys, liqourice strips and hyper-active hamsters (hereafter referred to as "car") without being in possession of a driver's license. Now, I do have a learner's license, meaning I can recognize fundamental signs and complex automotive equipment such as steering wheels, but a technicality within the law states that this particular piece of parchment only allows me to drive with a license-holder in the passenger seat. Since I don't know anybody that's available for a daily chaparone routine, it means I have to choose between staying at home or going to university. An easy choice...but people tell me that education is important.
As soon as you become 18 years of age, you're allowed to go and take the driver's license test - a pseudo-obstacle course that's taken under the supervision of a highly unenthusiastic human claiming to be an expert on matters related to driving. I hadn't been interested in said test until recently, when I finally obtained my "car". I suppose I could have gone using somebody else's vehicle, but I have certain reservations about piloting highly expensive machinery belonging to other people. As you can see, my act of driving without a license isn't totally without reason. I took driving lessons, I obey the rules of the road and I'm mindful about the dangers of high-speed travel. In addition...those pedestrians had it coming.
So, I phoned the licensing department today in order to make an appointment for this all-important test. The man on the other end seems courteous enough and even asks for and addresses me by my name. It's an obvious trick that creates the impression of giving a damn, often resorted to by seedy salesmen and overzealous fast food attendants.
"I'd like to make an appointment for a driver's license."
"The learner's test or the driver's test?"
"The driver's test."
"I'm sorry, but we're fully booked through the whole month of February."
"Okay...so could you schedule it for March then?"
"No."
"No?"
"You'll have to phone back later, I'm afraid."
"Why?"
"Because February is fully booked."
"Yes, but why can't you schedule it for March?"
"Because we're fully booked."
"In February."
"Yes."
"So..does you system only have a one-month calendar or something?"
[ Note the regrettable mistake I make at this point by assuming that the man is actually using a computer and not a greasy scrap of paper dug out of a refuse bag. ]
"No...it's just that February is fully booked and I can't give you an appointment then."
"Not even for next month?"
"No, I can't do that."
I could never get to the bottom of this mystery. In fact, I'm not even sure said mystery has a bottom...just an endless abyss of puzzling and frustrating ineptitude. Either this guy had no idea what he was doing or he wasn't given the correct tools to let him function in his job. Regardless, I now have to phone back frequently and hope that there's a competent entity on the other line, ready to help me into becoming an official law-abiding citizen.
Since this is a videogame blog, I should probably mention, you know, a videogame. Well, I'm really looking forward to Advent Rising, an upcoming sci-fi action game that's being published by Majesco. Admittedly, that's not a company known for their genre-defining masterpieces, though Bloodrayne sure came close! (that was sarcasm, folks) Don't let that deter you from checking this game out, as it looks to be not only a fantastic third-person action game but an epic piece of storytelling. Planned as a trilogy and written by esteemed author Orson Scott Card, the game incorporates sci-fi weaponry, high-powered vehicles, weird aliens, hand-to-hand combat and psychic powers into the latest and ridiculously beautiful build of the Unreal engine.
If you want to get the best idea of what it's like, have a gander at this spectacular trailer. Judging by it, it looks like the game will have plenty of epic boss encounters and at least one emotionally gripping groin-kicking scene. If you're observant you'll also notice the main character twitch defensively when there's an explosion nearby. Nice touch! The most intriguing part of the game, however, is the branching storyline that promises to be just as throughtful and dynamic as Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, with the only difference being that your actions in the first game will carry through all the way to the sequels, assuming that you'll even want to play them in the first place. The game launches in May on the Xbox and the PC - let's hope this series gets off to a good start.
posted by MrGenuchi at 11:08 PM
1 Comments:
Also, I think the kid who played the older brother in that show Boy Meets World is doing the main character's voice. I've been anxious for this since early-mid 2004.
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